Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Weight goal is within sight

I know many or most will roll their eyes when I say I have 1.75 more pounds to lose to reach my breastfeeding goal weight. From your point of view that may seem so minor as to be laughable. But I live my life from *my* point of view. And for me, I need to be just a couple of pounds lighter around the tummy to fit into the majority of my wardrobe, and to feel like myself again after the pregnancy. This will still be 5 pounds heavier than my pre pregnancy weight.

I have been stuck at a plateau for weeks and it was SO frustrating. Frustrating because I was dieting and denying myself the kinds of treats that I wanted. Frustrating to sacrifice and suffer and not get anywhere. Frustrating because I knew my failure to make progress was due to the fact that I lose control generally in the later afternoon/evening, and if I find a food that appeals to me, I can enter a feeding frenzy. Frustrating because I *know* an evening feeding frenzy is *not* going to be worked off, but will turn to fat overnight.

For the past few days I have gone on an even stricter diet, and it has finally worked. I lost another pound, with less than 2 pounds to go. The thing is, I LOVE treats. I WANT to reward myself and treat myself to fun stuff. I don't mind if I gain a pound or 2 over a few days, I know I can lose it again and again. It is just that I want my weight fluctuating that pound or 2 around my target weight, and not 4 pounds above it, which is what I've been doing the past month. Hating the mornings when I squeeze into my jeans that don't quite fit right.

My jeans feel better today. And hopefully they will feel even better next week. I only need to control myself a little bit longer, and I will be ready to reward myself again.

Don't worry about the little one. I'm drinking tons of decaf tea and his diapers are remarkably full and heavy/wet.